FASHIONABLE DEFENSE ENSEMBLE OF THE DAY
Today's very special FDE was submitted by a lovely and intelligent woman, who also happens to be the co-founder of 5 Rings Tactical. This beautiful young lady works in the field of news radio and believes in staying in shape, preparation, and the element of surprise when it comes to self-defense. Though she has yet to decide on her daily carry firearm of choice, she is always accompanied by her large chef's blade, Kimber Guardian Angel
pepper blaster, and a giant, chrome wrench. To promote comfortable ass kicking, her feet are covered with soft sock-monkey house shoes. The Kimber fires two blasts of OC (Oleoresin Capsicum) spray at 90 miles per hour into the bad guy's face. Projecting the OC so forcefully aids in stopping the attacker and helps prevent cross-contamination (that's fancy talk for getting your own pepper spray all over your own face). The chef's knife is a simple, full-tang blade, made from stainless steel. Though optimized for chopping meats and vegetables, and made with soft stainless steel, it's still a freaking knife... The wrench is chrome plated and provides enough handle for a two-handed, baseball bat grip. This tool is weighted toward the top, which facilitates momentum during the swing. It's not a fast weapon, but speed isn't a necessity when the bad guy is writhing in pain from the pepper blast, the Ginsu in the arm, and multiple sock-monkey kicks to the groin, and thinks you might be trying to fix his car.
pepper blaster, and a giant, chrome wrench. To promote comfortable ass kicking, her feet are covered with soft sock-monkey house shoes. The Kimber fires two blasts of OC (Oleoresin Capsicum) spray at 90 miles per hour into the bad guy's face. Projecting the OC so forcefully aids in stopping the attacker and helps prevent cross-contamination (that's fancy talk for getting your own pepper spray all over your own face). The chef's knife is a simple, full-tang blade, made from stainless steel. Though optimized for chopping meats and vegetables, and made with soft stainless steel, it's still a freaking knife... The wrench is chrome plated and provides enough handle for a two-handed, baseball bat grip. This tool is weighted toward the top, which facilitates momentum during the swing. It's not a fast weapon, but speed isn't a necessity when the bad guy is writhing in pain from the pepper blast, the Ginsu in the arm, and multiple sock-monkey kicks to the groin, and thinks you might be trying to fix his car. Though technically not defensive tools that are "carried", this fine young professional is generally found protected by her two body guards as well:
Pablo "El Diablo" Pequeno appears to be a small rat/dog hybrid creature. Though old, like a new-born Benjamin Button and armed only with blurred vision and 3 teeth, do not be fooled. This fierce creature is compact enough to stay hidden in a purse or backpack but still possesses the speed of bowel movements after devouring a cheese burrito from Taco Bell. Believed by some experts to be responsible for the legends and stories of "chupacabra", Pablo has an unyielding hunger for destruction and a weak bladder.
Though dangerous enough by himself, Pablo never works alone. His partner is a mysterious warrior, known only as "Darkness". She is silent and deadly, like a ninja's flatulence. Described in some circles as a "furry, four-legged Beyonce", the Darkness's perniciousness is rivaled only by her beauty. Bad guys aren't ready for this jelly.
No comments:
Post a Comment